Fuck it

I guess some people don't care that others actually enjoy their company, they have so many people out there that it doesn't matter if someone wants to talk to them or not. They can just find someone else. So many people lining up and so it doesn't matter about this one pitiful no one who once declared love for them. So fuck me, for being me. I tried to back off thinking that was it, I've tried to just exist barely but that didn't help either. So now the only conclusion I can come to is that I never was anything to you at all. Just someone to worship you from afar, an ego boost. Someone to pass your time in boredom. Well whatever, I'm glad I served your purpose till it suited you to dismiss me like the overflowing garbage can. We could have still been friends. I never expected it to go beyond where it went anyway. You confused my feeling with dreams of actual aspirations. I never expected you to come here, and I can't even get in there. All I ever wanted from you was an acknowledgment that I mattered to you in some way. I guess you've proven that I don't. Thanks. I appreciate the fact that I am nothing to you. Now you can relax knowing that I know. Not that it appeared to affect your life in anyway. You never seem anything but relaxed. Whatever, thanks for throwing me away, and never saying anything that might me feel like I was an actual person to you. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got nothing as usual