there

There is not one person who truly gives a fuck. Not one. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got someone.

How do you turn to poetry

 the pain is endless, the excitement is enticing, the suspense is agonizing. the touch is everything, her words are. what is left to be said. i wait for her. everything else pauses. her presence is gravity. this could be a good thing.
yet, this love is as death.   further attempts to.... Bye for now. got it

believe

I don't believe in love today. It's just a constant walk into dead end walls like in a maze. This maze has no way out though. Always looking for it. Sometimes you walk longer before you hit the wall, but, the wall is always there. It always comes. Always just around the next corner. Do the wrong thing (make the wrong turn) and you hit it. I hate love. I hate chasing it. I hate wanting it. I hate not having it or being able to find it. Maybe I'm not as good of a person as I think I am. Maybe that's why I don't have anyone to watch movies with, play scrabble with, laugh with, hold, talk to. Someone out there wants me. But I'm not in love with them. I hate that I'm not in love with the one person that seems to want me. I hate that I fall in love with people that don't want me. I hate that I can't touch her, hold her, kiss her, laugh in the same room as her. Love. It's fucking great. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got ^.

When will you come for me

You will wait. You will wait till I have no desire to see you at all. You will wait till I am so far away from a fall. You will wait till my smile is on and on. You will wait till I hear no more sad songs. You will wait till I'm content. You will wait till I'm fine. You will wait for the moment, when I am pleasantly blind. Oblivious to your presence. No clue that you're near. You will creep up and grab me and I won't even hear. I seek you now and you're so far away. I'd probably survive if you were a game that I played. You play this game with everyone everyday, so people give up and go there own way, but that's when you want them that's when you stay. You will claim me, when I finally see, you will come claim me, when I am happy I'm me. I know your game and I know how you play. I know how to cheat you, but I'm too scared to. It would be easy if I could just find my old friend. But where I am now he's just as elusive as you. I know I'll forget you tomorrow and feel fine again. Perhaps that's when you'll find me and declare my games over the end. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got breath.

see

It's weird how we don't talk at all anymore. You never say hi, look at me. No communication at all. I find myself starting games just to know that you still acknowledge my existence in some way. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got feet.

Fuck it

I guess some people don't care that others actually enjoy their company, they have so many people out there that it doesn't matter if someone wants to talk to them or not. They can just find someone else. So many people lining up and so it doesn't matter about this one pitiful no one who once declared love for them. So fuck me, for being me. I tried to back off thinking that was it, I've tried to just exist barely but that didn't help either. So now the only conclusion I can come to is that I never was anything to you at all. Just someone to worship you from afar, an ego boost. Someone to pass your time in boredom. Well whatever, I'm glad I served your purpose till it suited you to dismiss me like the overflowing garbage can. We could have still been friends. I never expected it to go beyond where it went anyway. You confused my feeling with dreams of actual aspirations. I never expected you to come here, and I can't even get in there. All I ever wanted from you was an acknowledgment that I mattered to you in some way. I guess you've proven that I don't. Thanks. I appreciate the fact that I am nothing to you. Now you can relax knowing that I know. Not that it appeared to affect your life in anyway. You never seem anything but relaxed. Whatever, thanks for throwing me away, and never saying anything that might me feel like I was an actual person to you. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got nothing as usual

Y

Why do you hate me now? Why have we become such strangers, with only awkward feeling conversation? It seemed we were more than old high school friends talking occasionally. Now that is all it seems we are. I wish I knew why. I don't seek to make you feel something you don't, I don't seek to make you anything. I just wish I knew why I no longer matter to you. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got answers