believe

I don't believe in love today. It's just a constant walk into dead end walls like in a maze. This maze has no way out though. Always looking for it. Sometimes you walk longer before you hit the wall, but, the wall is always there. It always comes. Always just around the next corner. Do the wrong thing (make the wrong turn) and you hit it. I hate love. I hate chasing it. I hate wanting it. I hate not having it or being able to find it. Maybe I'm not as good of a person as I think I am. Maybe that's why I don't have anyone to watch movies with, play scrabble with, laugh with, hold, talk to. Someone out there wants me. But I'm not in love with them. I hate that I'm not in love with the one person that seems to want me. I hate that I fall in love with people that don't want me. I hate that I can't touch her, hold her, kiss her, laugh in the same room as her. Love. It's fucking great. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got ^.

When will you come for me

You will wait. You will wait till I have no desire to see you at all. You will wait till I am so far away from a fall. You will wait till my smile is on and on. You will wait till I hear no more sad songs. You will wait till I'm content. You will wait till I'm fine. You will wait for the moment, when I am pleasantly blind. Oblivious to your presence. No clue that you're near. You will creep up and grab me and I won't even hear. I seek you now and you're so far away. I'd probably survive if you were a game that I played. You play this game with everyone everyday, so people give up and go there own way, but that's when you want them that's when you stay. You will claim me, when I finally see, you will come claim me, when I am happy I'm me. I know your game and I know how you play. I know how to cheat you, but I'm too scared to. It would be easy if I could just find my old friend. But where I am now he's just as elusive as you. I know I'll forget you tomorrow and feel fine again. Perhaps that's when you'll find me and declare my games over the end. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got breath.