it is upon me

The day is drawing near. It seems like forever I've been waiting for it. Now I am somewhat reluctant to just run off and do it, but I realize that it is something I must do. I can't maintain this mask of happiness and continue to live like this life is okay. I need to go and be something else for awhile. Changing isn't always easy, but I do it fairly well. I am good at adaption and change. As long as I keep myself I am fine with whatever becomes. Three days and I will become something new again. Maybe it is in an old place, but it is something new all the same. I will no longer be here in this decaying place of the waiting to die. This place is a retirement function, a place where people go to be content and fade into the ending. This is not for me. I am ready to live again. Friday I will become again. I will no longer be strapped to this meaningless existence and held by these chains. I have already became what I will become. It's starts in here with my thoughts and then expands into the outside reality that is our lives. You can't be anything if you don't do anything. Do the words. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got life.