I don't know

I am fairly certain that I am to blame for our decent into mere polite back and forth banter here and there versus the late night talks and constant communication we were engaged in. It could be this creepy blog, it could be the way I tried to force you to admit to something you didn't want to admit to or even actually feel, it could be numerous other things I do to annoy and push people, or it could be a combination of some or all of these things I suppose. It seems I am well liked by most, but the people I care about and want to like me are the ones I lose altogether. I apologize for ruining the friendship we seemed to be building or whatever you want to label it as. I think today will be the last day for this blog. It was our conversations and your voice and your face that fed them. The desires I have for you aren't gone and the way you used to seek me when I wasn't around is gone. So this now just feeds an empty hole that only gets bigger and succeeds at only pushing us farther apart. I meant what I said and I refuse to take it back. My lack of messages and lack of constant contact attempts since your return is not from a lack of desire but more a want for you to not be annoyed or pressured or whatever to entertain my selfishness. I am always around for you, except when I'm not. I do refuse to do things that will only make me more of a nuisance to you anymore. I missed you everyday, and I miss you now. I'm sorry I ruined whatever it was we were. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got that one thing.