Are you out there somewhere

It's another day. It surprises me how much thought I continue to put into what your thoughts about me are. I don't understand why I am so curious as to what you think about me. I mean I've given up on my fantasies about us. Do you realize that I have legitimate reasons to have the feelings I do. Are you trying to stay away from me for me or for you? Or not trying to stay away from me at all but purposely keep me at arms length. What happened to the days when you would say things like " I can't stop looking at your face ". Or okay if you aren't in chat I'll talk to you here or there. Do you recall leaving me the message that said omg where are you, not in chat not in yahoo not in skype, if you log in in the next 5 minutes I'll eat a pickle on cam. How did it become this way after all of that. We had fun, you laughed often and nicely. We could still do these things. I don't have to try and force you into a relationship you don't want. I miss even just the flirtation. Don't you miss any of these things? I do. Further attempts to.... Bye for now. Got that one thing that made you smile often. No she hates me now.