So

It doesn't matter anymore. I'm not going to write these to you anymore. It's useless and a waste of both of our time. Even if you do still read it you don't talk to me about anything I say and it ends up being a one sided conversation that I will never get any answers to. I did something this weekend that makes me feel sick. I can't have what I want so I just had whatever I could get. It's sick and it makes me feel worthless. I sat in a park today for eight hours and thought about nothing but myself. No reflection no meditation just thoughts on me. When am I going to get out of here, when are they going to pick me up. All day long. I'm an asshole. Sorry that I  ended up showing up in your path. It must make you feel shitty knowing that I did and still somewhat am. Further attempts to....Bye for now. Got character.